Many men think that they’re falling in love with a women in accordance to God. It is only so if your love (eros) is built upon the Love of God (Agape) being built upon the holiness principles of the Bible.
Now, that’s a reason why many hearts are in pain when they fall in love (as they think they are) with someone, unable to explain that “strong feeling”.
Hence they become hurt and hurt others back (this vicious cycle repeats).
Truth is, true Love (even Eros) when built upon God’s Love (Agape) only, is “never painful”.
Only in instances when we “fall away” from “abiding in His Love” do we occasionally “hurt” the one we love.
Many fall head over toes toward a beautiful actress and profess great “one sided” love toward her.
It’s “one-sided” simply because if you met her in real life, I’ll bet she’ll reject “your true love”.
Thus one is caught in a “fantasy” and this retards the capability of the mind to acquire “academic knowledge”. Most who fall in such fantasies are never the cream of the crop academically in their respective fields of study.
It’s actually a Trap which “traps your heart” and then the devil uses it to “hurt you” whilst you “think” that you’re enduring “true love” (living in a fantasy).
If not, you’ll fall into this trap and be hurt all the time (it’s nothing new under the sun).
Furthermore, you’ll never be able to be healed of this “pain” arising from this “fantasy” love which is a “punishment” for many who “don’t please God” as the verse below states in truth:
“I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare.” (Ecclesiastes 7:26)
Righteous men don’t experience or have ceased experiencing such feelings (because they ‘please God’).
How to ‘please God’?
Firstly, “believe in Him” because it is written that, “without faith it is impossible to please God” (Hebrews 11:6).
Remember, having faith in the True and Living God is the “cure”.
If not, you’ll remain in this “pain of fantasy love” as the verse means or implies literally due to “your heart” being “trapped” (held captive/in bondage/enslaved) by “her” (where in most cases, she doesn’t even know you exist).
Come out of these fake vanities of this temporal life! May the Good Lord grant thee eyes to ‘see’! (only such fantasy/fake loves are ‘blind’ while true Love makes you ‘see the truth’).
Finally remember this, “true Love doesn’t enslave you but rather sets you free” just like God’s Love as Lord Jesus Christ said, “and you will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free”.