Marry or don’t marry?
Is a celibacy a better state than marriage?
That is, marriage may be ‘good’ but celibacy is ‘better’.
Again the verse:
“Now concerning the things about which you wrote to me: it is good for a man not to touch a woman.” (1 Corinthians 7:1)
St. Jerome argues: “If it is good for a man not to touch a woman, it must be bad to do so, and therefore celibacy is a holier state than marriage.”
A main purpose of marriage is to curb sexual immorality:
“But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:2)
And here too:
“But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:9)
Apostle Paul hints that on being ‘unmarried like him’ may be better although it’s still not ‘literally’ meant as that here:
“I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.” (1 Corinthians 7:7 – 8)
The point that marriage is to deal with “burning passion/lust” (i.e. controlling oneself in this) is reiterated here again:
“But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:9)
Why is not marrying (celibacy) better than marrying? Let these few verses below answer this query directly:
(1) Those who marry will have many troubles in this life
“But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.” (1 Corinthians 7:28)
(2) Those who marry will be “more concerned about the things of this world” (such as pleasing his wife)
“But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—” (1 Corinthians 7:33)
(3) Marriage obstructs full single-devotion to the Lord only –> both for men and women alike
‘and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.
I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:34 – 35)
(4) An unmarried believer is only devoted to the concerns of the Lord and is ‘free’ from the ‘concerns of this life/world’
“I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—” (1 Corinthians 7:32)
I am saying all these ‘not’ to “restrict you” but rather so that you know what the Bible facts are (with verses, if possible for each statement made) before you decide to marry/don’t marry (I’m not forbidding marriage here). Also, an unmarried man can yield an “undivided” devotion to the Lord:
“I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:35)
Remember, marriage is not a sin but a right/good thing for the reasons aforementioned:
“If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married.” (1 Corinthians 7:36)
But “not marrying” is also a right thing too:
“But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing.” (1 Corinthians 7:37)
But, being “not married” (celibacy) is “better” literally:
“So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.” (1 Corinthians 7:38)
P/S:
Probably that’s why many great saints of the Christian faith “never married” (taking the higher path of faith).
